Have you ever felt a pang of anxiety while scrolling through social media, convinced that everyone else is living a more exciting, successful, or fulfilling life than you? That feeling has a name: FOMO, or Fear of Missing Out. It’s more than just a buzzword—it’s a psychological experience rooted in our need for connection, validation, and meaning.
In this post, we’ll explore what causes FOMO, how it shows up in everyday life, and how relational therapy can offer a powerful path toward healing and reconnection.
What Is FOMO?
FOMO is the uneasy sense that others are having rewarding experiences without you. It’s driven by comparison, insecurity, and the fear that you’re not making the “right” choices. Psychologist Dr. Andrew Przybylski describes it as “the pervasive apprehension that others might be having rewarding experiences from which one is absent.”
While social media amplifies FOMO, it’s not a new phenomenon. Humans have always grappled with the fear of exclusion—it’s wired into our survival instincts.
Historical Roots of FOMO
Though the term was coined in the early 2000s, FOMO has deep psychological and historical roots:
- Social Comparison: We’ve always measured ourselves against others—whether it’s neighbors, colleagues, or peers.
- Loss Aversion: Psychologically, we’re more sensitive to what we lose than what we gain.
- Regret Forecasting: We anticipate future regret and try to avoid it by chasing every opportunity.
- Evolutionary Survival: Being left out of the group once meant danger. Today, exclusion still triggers stress responses.
Real-Life Examples of FOMO
FOMO can sneak into many areas of life. Here are some common scenarios:
| Situation | How FOMO Shows Up |
| Social Media | Seeing friends at an event you weren’t invited to. |
| Overcommitting | Saying yes to everything for fear of missing something better. |
| Career Choices | Doubting your path because others seem more successful. |
| Consumer Habits | Buying trendy items just to keep up. |
| Relationships | Wondering if you’re missing out on a “better” partner or lifestyle. |
How Relational Therapy Can Help with FOMO
Relational therapy focuses on healing through relationships—especially the therapeutic relationship itself. It’s not just about analyzing thoughts; it’s about understanding how our relational patterns shape our identity and emotional experience.
Here’s how relational therapy can support someone struggling with FOMO:
1. Exploring the Origins
Therapists help clients uncover how early relationships shaped their need for approval or fear of exclusion. FOMO often stems from unmet emotional needs—like feeling unseen, unworthy, or disconnected.
2. Rebuilding Secure Connections
The therapeutic relationship becomes a model for healthy connection. Clients experience being valued and understood, which helps counteract the anxiety of missing out.
3. Reconnecting with Personal Values
Therapy encourages clients to identify what truly matters to them—not just what’s popular or externally validated. This shift from comparison to authenticity weakens FOMO’s grip.
4. Cultivating Presence
Mindfulness and relational attunement help clients stay grounded in the present. Instead of chasing every opportunity, they learn to savor what’s already meaningful.
Final Thought: From FOMO to Fulfillment
FOMO thrives on disconnection—from others, from ourselves, and from our values. Relational therapy offers a path back to connection, helping us rewrite the story from “What am I missing?” to “What do I truly value?”
By exploring our relational patterns and embracing authentic connection, we can move from fear to fulfillment—and start living a life that feels whole, not just busy.
The Wondering Mind blog 
Leave a comment